Maybe He Just Knows Me So Well
by NatD-LE
Summary: Antonio, Romano, and their friends try out a new bar. Antonio is the 'designated driver' and has to deal with his overly drunk boyfriend. Spamano Human AU.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.**

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It was Friday night, when friends got together with friends to have fun and celebrate the upcoming weekend. Antonio and Romano were no strangers to such activities. Arm in arm, they walked in behind their friends into a bar that had just opened a week ago. It was already bustling with activity, people sitting at little tables or couches or the booths. There was a stage for karaoke or comedy acts.

"It's alright, I'm here; the party can start now." Gilbert joked.

"Let's grab some seats on the couch." Feliciano chirped, going toward the cluster of loveseats and armchairs with a German brother being dragged on each arm. Francis took Arthur and Antonio took Roma to the bar for drinks. Antonio ordered two waters, it being his and Ludwig's turn to be the designated drivers. Francis ordered some wine and Arthur got ale. Lovino was stuck grabbing the beer.

They got to their seats and divided up the drinks. Gilbert and Feliciano snagged the beer; Antonio and Ludwig had their water; Arthur had his ale; Francis and Romano shared the wine. A few drinks of each later, Gilbert was already obnoxious enough to taunt Romano and Francis, claiming that wine was too weak and that he was the superior drinker. Romano lost enough inhibition to not think about the effect his actions may have and accepted Gil's challenge by claiming he was actually the most hardcore when it came to liquor.

So the white-haired German and grumpy Italian went back to the bar and ordered 10 shot glasses, betting who could drink all of them and keep it down. They started strong and it came close, but Romano managed to down his last shot while Gilbert was heaving already. He stumbled to the bathroom, Ludwig helping him out, while Romano stumbled over and announced his victory. "I-I'm the best fukin' drinka o-out of all of you b-bastards."

"Grats, big bro!" Feliciano cheered. Antonio chuckled and handed his water to his inebriated boyfriend.

"Si, si. I think that's enough for tonight, mi amor." Romano stared at the water, then at Antonio, back at the water. He took the clear drink, set it aside, and stumbled over to straddle the sober man's lap.

"Mmm, y-you sexy dork, w-with your a-accent a-and your face." He slurred. "Being a fuckin' sweet lil' fuck." Romano snagged a quick and sloppy kiss before clinging to his lover. "Ah f-fuck! Th-the things this man does to me! Toni, do th-things to meh!" He cried. Antonio chuckled, a little bewildered and amused by the antics of his drunken Italian.

"What things?"

"Fuck! Fuck meee~! Drive that big fuckin' rod in your pants up my ass h-hard and fast 'till I can't feel my inside! T-take me 'n f-front of all these bastaards and show off how fuckin' h-huge you are!" Romano started yelling out his slurs. Antonio gently hushed him and rubbed his sides, but that was a poor choice in action when Romano started rutting against him. Antonio clutched at his sides to keep him still and brushed his cheeks instead.

"Shh, Roma, not so loud. Maybe I will do… things later, if you behave." He murmured to his lover. Romano got serious and put his finger to his own lips.

"Shhh?"

"Mmhm, indoor voice."

"'Kay." He nodded. "H-hey, Toni."

"Hm?"

"Guess what?"

"Que?" Antonio wondered. Romano opened his mouth to answer, but ended up breaking into giggles. Antonio smiled. Even drunk, his Roma was the cutest, even if he had a very vivid… imagination. "Whaat?"

"I—" He started giggling again. "Ahhaha, I fuckin' love youuuu~"

"Hehe, I love you too." He smiled and chuckled along. Romano's giggling made him fall off his lap onto the couch, almost landing in Francis' lap. Antonio nearly forgot that there were other people around, including Gilbert and Ludwig now. He got a little embarrassed but was relieved that they weren't paying attention. At least, not until Romano stood up.

"H-hey, bastards 'n bitches! Listen up!" He called out. Everyone in our group and a few people nearby looked up. "I'm tell you all a story." He started. It took him a moment to speak and probably let his brain catch up. "The first time i get laaiidd by this sonofabitch—" he pointed to Antonio. "—got a big fuckin' cock and he s-stuck it in and fuckin' fucked me so fuckin' hard!" He started giggling again, which was Antonio's cue to wake up from his mortified state and grab the wobbling drunk. He apologized to his friends and half carried Romano out of the bar to the car.

Romano must've sensed that he did something wrong, because he clung to Antonio's neck and breathed against his ear. "Y-you mad at meh?" Antonio sighed and squeezed him around the waist.

"No, just a little embarrassed. You're a little bit difficult to deal with, my love, but I wouldn't be with you if I couldn't handle it." Antonio snickered. "It's not like they'll remember tonight anyway, except maybe poor Ludwig. Hell, you won't even remember."

"Mmm." Romano hummed, probably catching less than half of that. "F-fuck him, he- he can't satisfy Fe-Felu-Fifi-whatevah like you satisfy meh, yah fuck machine."

"Maybe." Antonio answered simply, not wanting to argue. Romano liked that answer. He nodded. When they were closer to the car, Romano spoke up again.

"H-hey Tonio, guess wha'?"

"What?"

"I loooooove you~"

"Hehe, I heard."

"I loooove you t-the mooostest in the whooooole wide w-woooorld~" He sang loudly. "D-didja know that, yah bastaaaard?" Antonio smiled and shook his head slowly. Romano really was too cute a drunk.

"Shh, not so loud." Romano apparently remembered a little of what occurred at the bar, because he made a 'shh' sound before bursting out laughing again. Antonio helped him into the car and drove home. On the way, Romano flipped between laughing, crying out sexual scenarios for Antonio to follow, and singing 'love youuu, loooove yoouu' to him. Antonio carried him to the house and, the second he placed him on the bed, Romano fell asleep. When he woke up, it was with a killer headache and no recollection of last night after the drinking contest.

"You just proclaimed your love to me in front of everyone." Antonio told him with a bright smile. "Nothing too bad."

"Mm, thank God." Romano grumbled, drinking coffee in big gulps. When he was done and claimed to feel better, Antonio gave him a fine suggestion to act upon those feelings of love from last night. The Italian complied and was quite satisfied, to say in the least. He wondered to himself how his boyfriend knew how to do things so right and so amazingly.

_"Maybe he just knows me so well"_ Romano decided as he cozied up to the hot body of his Spaniard.


End file.
